轻松一刻 > 笑话 > 英语笑话
  • Reminder催单
    In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes, in fact that's why we're here," she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminder.
    "We did," she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card."
  • 不是我的错
    It's not my fault
    Mother (reprimanding训斥,谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
    Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
  • 婚礼上有长官在
    A police stopped a motorist who was speeding on the street. "But officer," the man said, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to put you in jail until the chief gets back.""But ,officer, I ….""I said to keep quiet! You are going to jail!"A few hours later, the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "You are lucky because the chief is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.""Are you sure?" answered the man in the cell. "I'm the groom."
  • 最希望得到的签名
    Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."
  • A Man Who Said No 说不的男子
    A friend of mine noticed a man staggering about in the Times Square subway station. A well-dressed Wall Street type, his coat was unbuttoned, a briefcase dangled from his hand and he'd obviously had one too many.  
    Asked if he was all right, the man gave a slurred but affirmative response. However, my friend simply could not see someone brave the rough maw of a New York subway without trying to help. He followed the chap, and again asked, "Are you sure you're all right? What subway are you looking for? Do you need help getting home?"   
    At last, the object of his attentions snarled, in a low voice, "Leave me alone! I'm an undercover cop!"
  • Intelligent son 聪明的儿子
    One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter, the son took the letter , the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.  
    After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?" 
    "You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
    "I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."  
    "Then why you didn't take it back?"   
    "I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee, is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"
    儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?” “当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”