On his deathbed poor Lubin lies； His spouse is in despair； With frequent sobs and mutual cries； They both express their care． “A different cause，”says Parson Sly， “The same effect may give： Poor Lubin fears that he may die ； His wife，that he may live”．
马修·普赖厄 可怜的鲁宾躺在他的病床里； 他的妻子陷入绝望； 频频啜泣，相对哭啼， 他们都表达着忧伤。 “不同原因，”滑头牧师说， “可产生同样结果： 可怜的鲁宾怕他会死； 他老婆，怕他会活。”
Keep the Change不用找了
One sweltering day, I was scooping ice cream into cones and told my four children they could "buy" a cone from me for a hug. Almost immediately, the kids lined up to make their purchases. The three youngest each gave me a quick hug, grabbed their cones and raced back outside. But when my teen-age son at the end of the line finally got his turn to "buy" his ice cream, he gave me two hugs. "Keep the changes," he said with a smile.
A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died. Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer. Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven. The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"
He is really somebody他真是一个大人物
My uncle has 1000 men under him.
He is really somebody. What does he do?
A maintenance man in a cemetery.
An Exceptional Phenomenon（罕见）
4-year-old Begin and his cousin scrambled (攀爬，争抢) for toys. His mum told him: “ You are older brother because you’re older than your (cousin) sister. You should give ground to her. ” Begin thought a little but maintained(坚持) : “ My sister must give ground to me when she grows older than I.” His uncle around overheard and said : “Such a thing hardly occurs.”
Good news or Bad news?
An artist was part of an exhibition, and he asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings that were currently on display.
"I've got good news and bad news," the owner replied.
"Give me the good news first," the artist demanded.
"The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."
"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed, "What could the bad news possibly be?"
With concern, the gallery owner replied, "The gentleman in question was your doctor."以为艺术家在一个画廊办了个展览，他问店主是否有人对他参展的画感兴趣。