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英语笑话
  • 冰箱里的小兔子
    A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves, "What are you doing in there?" she asked.
    一位女士打开冰箱门,发现一只兔子坐在其中的一层隔板上,就问它:“你在那里做什么?”
    The rabbit replied, "This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?"
    兔子回答:“这是Westinghouse对不对?”(Westinghouse,西屋电气公司)
    The lady confirmed, "Yes."
    女士确认道:“没错。”
    "Well," the rabbit said,"I'm westing."
    兔子说:“那就对了,我就是要往西边去。”
    Rabbit: Are you sure this bottle of special carrot juice will cure me?
    兔子:你确信这瓶特制胡萝卜汁能治好我的病?
    Doctor: Absolutely. No rabbit ever came back for another.
    医生:当然咯,凡是喝过的兔子没有一只来要第二瓶的。
    Baby Rabbit: Mommy, where did I come from?
    兔宝宝:妈咪,我是从哪儿来的呢?
    Mother Rabbit: I'll tell you when you're older.
    兔妈妈:等你长大点再告诉你。
    Baby Rabbit: Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now.
    兔宝宝:噢妈咪,现在就告诉我吧,求您了。
    Mother Rabbit: If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat.
    兔妈妈:如果你一定要知道,那我告诉你你是从魔术师的帽子里被拽出来的。
  • 知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗?
    知道"Family"这个单词的含义吗? 爸 F ather和 A nd妈 M other我 I爱 L ove你 Y ou爸妈我爱你=家庭。
  • 你爷爷
    A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody. Just your grandfather."
    一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一进饭店就大声嚷嚷:“喂,有什么好菜尽管端上来,钱多少我不在乎。”服务员听了很不是滋味:“哥儿们,钱多顶个屁,你不照样得做别人的儿子,就是有人要你做孙子你也不敢不做!”年青人勃然大怒:“谁敢占老子的便宜?你说,是谁不要命了,胆敢要老子做他的孙子?”服务员慢条斯理地答道:“你爷爷!”
  • Two hunters两个猎人
    Once two hunters went hunting in the forest. One of them suddenly fell down by accident. He showed the whites of his eyes and seemed to have ceased breathing. The other hunter soon took out his mobile phone to call the emergency center for help. The operator said calmly:"First, you should make sure that he is already dead." Then the operator heard a gunshot from the other end of the phone and next he heard the hunter asking:"What should I do next?" 
    两个猎人进森林里打猎,其中一个猎人不慎跌倒,两眼翻白,似已停止呼吸。
    另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说:“第一步,要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是,接线员在电话里听到一声枪响,然后听到那猎人接着问:“第二步怎办?”
  • Wear Socks穿袜子
    Mum: Look at your socks. One is short, the other is long. You must have put on the wrong ones.Xiaodong: I am not wrong. I look at there others1 socks. One is short and the other is long, too.
    妈妈:小东,看你的袜子一只长,一只短,你肯定穿错了。小东:没错啊!我刚才看过剩下的两只也是一只长,一只短。
  • 雨伞 The Umbrella
    A gentleman staying in a hotel left his umbrella in the hall, but he had put on the handle a card on which was written: "This umbrella belongs to a gentleman who can lift up a hundred pounds. I shall be back in ten minutes." When he came back, he found, instead of his umbrella, another card on which was written,"This card belongs to a man who can run ten miles an hour. I shall not come back."
    一位住在旅馆的绅士把他的雨伞放在了大厅里,不过他在伞柄上系了一张卡片,上面写道,“此伞属于一位能举百磅的绅士。我将在十分钟
    内回来。当他回来时,发现雨伞已经不翼而飞,取而代之的是另一张卡片,上面写着:“此卡是一位一小时能跑十英里的人留下的,我将永远不回来。
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